Back in 1986, I wasn’t sure what to expect at the first concert I went to. There I was with my boyfriend, under the stars at a lovely outdoor venue on a beautiful evening in May. I was so excited to be doing such an adult thing as seeing a show! I thought it would be a perfect night…
Except a few songs in, everyone in front of me stood up, blocking my view. And the crowd stayed standing the rest of the show. I did not have a good time. I was so irritated that I couldn’t see from my seat due to inconsiderate people! Of course, I was naïve that was acceptable concert behavior, but that’s not the point. The point is that I let a circumstance steal my happiness because I was focused on my disappointment.
Flash forward to this year (that’s 36 years for those of you who aren’t into math). I went to another outdoor concert, expecting to enjoy the evening with my boyfriend. By this point, I’d seen more than 50 performers live and knew what to expect at concerts. But what I hadn’t experienced before was being rained on.
Yep, that’s right, the rain started coming down just as the show started. Of course, I had no idea how hard it would rain or how long the rain would last. Now, I could have been disappointed, and let the rain ruin my evening. That response would seem reasonable to a lot of people. Who wants to be wet and cold when they came to have a good time?
But that’s not what I did. Instead of letting the rain ruin my night, I simply enjoyed the concert.
Now, you might be thinking, of course, after 36 years I probably just reached a level of maturity that accounted for my equanimity. I’m humbled to say, that’s not the case. Even a few years ago I would have been peevish about the rain.
The change in me is a result of shifting from a reactive survival thinking pattern to a rational and proactive mindset.
Survival thinking patterns keep you scanning for threats. When this filter is in use, everything looks and feels like danger. It’s tough to stay in balance when you constantly feel threatened.
A proactive mindset focuses on opportunity and harmony. When this filer is in use and the brain encounters a problem, it stays in equilibrium while it looks for a solution.
This one change in my mental fitness has made the biggest difference to my quality of life. Bigger than any other skill or knowledge I’ve acquired so far.
If you want to learn how to be consistently in a proactive mindset, I can teach you. Message me on Facebook or send me an email and let’s talk.
